The truth is, I lost my creativity. I lost all my energy. I lost my determination to get past pinning things or looking at things. I didn't make anything. I didn't want to cook anything. I just wanted to sleep ALL THE TIME.
I have stresses in my life. Everyone does. My youngest two have displayed extreme sibling rivalry for over a year. As in near constant screaming, crying, hitting, biting, whining. I was losing my sanity. I will admit since Oliver started Kindergarten this fall, it is finally getting better. And I need it to get better.
My oldest has many needs. As in she can not do anything for herself and needs a constant caretaker. We do not have any help for her outside of her going to public school. She does not have many medical needs, which is a blessing, but it is getting harder and harder for us to take her places. She has a wheelchair or stroller, but honestly prefers to laying on the floor most of the time. This basically translates to - if she is not in school, either my husband or I am at home with her. I was going to say "stuck at home" which is what I do feel, but it sounds so harsh.
I have not been working outside of the home as much this past year. I have had more of a stay at home mom role. Let's just say, it's not my ideal job, but I'm getting through it. I still have hopes of having a professional career. Although with my eldest child's needs, it will only be a part time career at best. It's a constant battle trying to figure out what I want to do with my life, versus what is best for my kids and husband. I know there has to be an answer somewhere!
My interests are expanding. I still love home renovation and home decor. I still like the idea of sewing and making things. Lately my energy and time has been spent on nutrition. As I mentioned above I had lost all my energy. I blamed it on my having three kids, one with special needs. I'm beginning to think that while they definitely add "work" to my life, they are not the sole reason for my lack of energy.
I'm still in the process of figuring it all out.
I can tell you that I miss talking about things. I miss creating things and sharing things. I miss this blog.
I hope to start over and begin a new life that is finding the calm amidst the crazy.
Mid-December we had a family baking day. We made sugar cookies...all day long. Mom and Dad did most of the work.
The kids ate. At least they started with apples before they moved on to the baked cookies.
Happy New Year to everyone from our crazy bunch. Here's hoping we talk more often this year!